All Hail The Shirt O’ Doom!
It was over in the United States; a bloated, spoiled, rotting empire of the Maenads that could no longer successfully get a rocket off the launching pad that the furor began. You see British Astrophysicist, Dr. Mitt Taylor had accomplished feats of engineering and science that are simply beyond the skill and intellect of rotting, detestable empires who run their space agencies to boost Islamic self-esteem.
For 10 years he and his colleagues at the European Space Agency have been guiding this 15-stone probe to a place so far from us that it takes radio signals 28 minutes to reach our scanners. With unbelievable skill and accuracy, they have managed to get within striking distance of Comet 67P/ Churyumov-Gerasimenko. They were able to detach Philae, the probe, from the mother craft, called Rosetta. They sent Philae towards the comet- a peanut-shaped glob of freezing rock and dust about two miles long. They landed their milk crate gizmo on the comet, even though it is hurtling through space at 135,000 mph.
We should be admiring this. We should congratulate Dr. Taylor. But no. Like the obnoxious, overeager NFL Umpire staring at the offensive line, the hatefully PC Progressive US* had to throw the penalty flag and call back the ultimate inter-planetary touchdown bomb. That would be a 15 yard penalty for Unsportsmanlike Menswear.
Really? Yes; The United States of America, the people who invented Faux Cold Fusion and the Hockey-Stick Curve, are really devaluing visionary and legitimately honest astrophysical brilliance because female screech-harpies on Twitter were offended by this man’s shirt! To quote the sensitive and caring John McEnroe “You cannot be serious!?”
The Atlantic’s Rose Eveleth tweeted, “No no women are toooootally welcome in our community, just ask the dude in this shirt.” Astrophysicist Katie Mack commented: “I don’t care what scientists wear. But a shirt featuring women in lingerie isn’t appropriate for a broadcast if you care about women in STEM.**” And from there, the online feminist lynch mob took off until Taylor was forced to deliver a tearful apology on camera..