Keep Away From Those Climate Change Church Crazies

TheEndIsNear

One of my highest aspirations is to train up my two sons to be productive, useful members of society, and to share the goals and values my wife and I have tried to instill in their young minds. My youngest turns 4 today, and my oldest is just 5.

In the year 2031, they’ll both be about done with college and ready to enter “life” as the rest of us old folks know it. I’m worried about the kind of world they’ll live in. Not to worry their little minds over such big issues as global warming today, I decided to write them a letter, which they can open in 2031. I do plan to be around to see them open it, but I’ll have slept since now so I doubt I’ll remember what I wrote. No doubt it will be interesting for all of us to read it together.

Dear Sons,

It’s 2031, and you’ve both either graduated college, or are preparing to soon. If you’re living on my dime, don’t stretch college out too long, because I want to be able to eat in my old age, and from what I see in 2014 both food and college probably cost $1,000 a day in 2031. I wonder who’s on the thousand dollar bill? (Wikipedia says it’s Grover Cleveland but in 2031, it might be Barack Obama)

Let’s get to the point. I’m sure you’re fine and upstanding men. Your mother and I have taught you our values, and our faith in God. Before you head out into the wide world, I want to tell you about another religion. This one is growing in popularity and adding to its number daily. Children are taught its principles in our schools, and we are all paying tithes to it in so many ways.

I want to tell you about this religion because you very likely are a follower of it by now, and don’t even realize it. It’s the religion of Climate Change. In 2014, the Prophets of Climate Change are telling us that the world will suck eggs in 2031. It will be a teeming, wet, parched, poisonous, starving world. A bad movie world. Waterworld, without the mercy of rolling the credits at the end (you’ll have to look that up yourself, sons). They’re telling us …read more    

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